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Metronome

A metronome is a an instrument that is used to set a rhythm and pace.   It is used by musicians and dancers so they can set an internal clock of pace and flow.   As a group exercise instructor we are to stay within reasonable perimeters for participants.  can do As a dancer, I have had this rhythm ingrained in my being.    There are days when I go on auto pilot and this side of me is asleep and there are other days where it is alive in my being.

My metronome speaks to me in the woods – a place I go where no one knows me and I can get lost in the BE … BEING in the moment, BEING one with self, when the brain has turned off and I get to BE in my body.    Timing and tempo are the rhythm of my feet as they set forth to explore the trails in front of me.

We all have those internal rhythms that speak to us if we just quiet ourselves, get away from the technology and the blue screens that disturb our brain.     I was the city girl, my idea of success was working 9 to 5.  My idea of a wardrobe was high heels and skirts – not that its bad.   My idea of a vacation was the Marriott.

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My idea of fun was so far from where I am now I am blown away by the changes.   Little did I recognize that I did what most in society expect.   Go to college, get a job, get married, get a house, get a dog, have children and get lost in the rate race of life.   It has taken me time to step back and recognize that I am much more than than.  20180709_085118 I have done the work to find out who I truly am, my authentic being.   Maybe I have been afraid to uncover this individual, but I can say I am truly happy with what I have found.

I have infused color, shapes and texture to my life.   I have surrounded myself by loving caring compassionate individuals who embrace my eclectic nature, inspire me to be better and cultivate the connections.   Those of you who challenge me and make me think and dive deeper, thank you!    Like a diamond that has been created under pressure, I have emerged with those hidden talents I have been afraid of, because they are not the norm of society.   The more I let go and BE lost in the woods, BE one with music, BE open to the possibilities of my gifts, the more they emerge raw and pure.IMG_6554.JPG

I step outside in nature and feel the pull to wander the trails, clear my head with the rhythms of my body and magic happens.   The photographs become clear, the writings deeper and I am truly able BE present.   What is missing from your life?   How can you step off the tracks to really dig in to find that authentic BEING you were meant to be?

Are you happy with yourself?   If not, its not to late to find the beauty that has been buried under all of those layers of LIFE.     Is it the waistline that we have built that insulted wall of protection because it’s easier?    Is it a relationship that you have chosen to stay with because its easier to ignore than fight for your LIFE?     What do you want … let’s open up the possibilities, because I BET no one has truly asked you that question.

 

You deserve so much more, you are worth so much more.    Surround yourself with those individuals, the tribe that loves and supports you no matter what!    Find your metronome, that rhythm and pace that sets you apart from the pack.  Everyone needs a hand ~ let me be that hand, that shoulder, that grounding voice to uncover that authentic BEING you were destined to be.   Let 2019 BE that year for you!

I have found the magic ~ I am creating Magic Connection and FUN … let’s do it together!

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Recognizing broken …

It has been a long journey of self-discovery and IMG_0846dropping all of those perfect ideals.   What I didn’t realize was just how broken I really was.  Life has a funny way of helping us move forward.  But many of us go through life with a mask of hurt, pain, anger or any other word we want to associate our burdens or self-identification.

I did what is expected as being a mom we continue to cook clean and dive into our children’s activities and if that isn’t enough, we go on to organize the booster clubs and stepping into leadership or so I thought.   What I didn’t recognize was that I was losing myself, I forgot to connect to my heart and do what is best for everyone so life could become balanced.   No was never an option, the alarm always alerted me.  It was time to do more.IMG_0802 (2)

Misunderstandings, assumptions, words spoken of regret and mis-interpretations, false expectations appearing real, as parents we dream of what “perfect family” should be but in reality most of us are far from this environment.  It looks good on the outside – but is it really?  Do you speak up for fear of rejection?   When i spoke up judgement was placed.   Or do i accept the small morsels given?   It’s a NO WIN situation.

Some of us dove into a career with head strong urgency,IMG_1501 though I chose motherhood with no regrets.   Striving to do more and be more, applies to both areas.  Long days and weeks away from family or obligations was not a problem since others would be stepping up and taking care of everything.   I am important and needed or so I thought.

Slapping the smile on my face and trudging forward is what I did best.  One day an angel interrupted me and suggested something different.   Deep down I knew I was angry, deep down I know of heartache and pain, deep down I knew I needed something ~ but what?

IMG_1180I tried therapy … same ole same old; tell the woes of unhappiness, reliving those painful defining moments then what, was there a resolve, no!   No next steps, no relief, no sympathy, no solution.  Tried another therapist to help me see the forest through the trees.  Ugh, again the same story telling, nodding and taking notes, but nothing to grab on to that will get me out of my own head.

Children throw themselves into life and speak their mind and you hear adults say “out of the mouths of babes”. As adults we hold back and don’t speak of wrongs against us, we are chaise for having a voice and saying we don’t like, we don’t want to, we don’t agree with the words you spoke to us and continue on.   Little by little our spirit is broken, little by little our heart cries out, little by little we stop trying.   When do you stop the Ferris wheel and make a plea for a different life?

We may be broken and still successful, can be connected and a resource for many, but deep down we know.  Need to get out of our head and the logical side of life and find that inner child that screams for attention.   Find that spark, that free spirit who leaps out of bed no matter the age and dive into life, and live from the heart!

My angel game me the gift of life.  My angel gave me the gift of love.  My angel has no idea how truly grateful I am.  He saved my life.  I am able to drop all of those preconceived ideas of who I need to be, who I am supposed to be and I found ME!   Digging deep didn’t happen overnight but the experience and the transformational opportunity was worth the ride!   I am alive!  I am connected to my heart; I am able to see the forest through the trees.  Let me help you!   Let me come from a place of love and show you just how beautiful you truly are.  Let me be your angel!

I love life ~ I love you and have a gift for you to open ~ it’s your choice!

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Pine cone

The ground was wet from the morning dew and I chose to venture out with bare feet to feel and connect to the earth on a short walk.   Listening to the morning as the birds chirped and the trees rustled in the breeze and just how beautiful and vibrant the colors surrounded me as I ventured forward.   I found pine cone laying in and around the leaves, wet on top nestled into a bed of thatch, twigs sticking out, grass caught in the folds of the cone.   Grey on the bottom and a muddy black color on top still covered with the morning dew.IMG_7303.JPG

Resembling the length and width of a banana and the end stump where it was attached to the tree was still remained.    The wood feeds my soul, keeps me grounded and feeds my fire.  The nature raw and real speaks to me, I am calmed and comforted by being in and surrounds by nature.    A definitive line of wet and dampness appears on the pine cone, like day and night.  It way laying there to be touched long forgotten by the tree discarded like many.   We need to pick the small non-descript items like people – pick them up acknowledge them and their beauty and embrace their qualities.   We walk by people daily and they too have sometimes been long forgotten, they too were once a part of the bigger picture.   We need to recognize those that we have not noticed.  Slow down our pace, stop to notice and embrace these long forgotten.  Empower and love them for their uniqueness and special qualities forgotten.

IMG_7324.JPGAnd with everything we do in life it’s time to change the perspective from an inanimate object = how differently would it read if instead if the pine cone itself represented me or you?   We are one individual that we put out to the world and sometimes a completely different individual who we keep sacred.   Is this how we want to live?   Life gets hard when we try to put on the face to the world when there are so many areas of our life that we hide or shy away from.   Wouldn’t it be amazing if we were one whole individual.   Like people, everyone needs to feel loved, valued and needed.   Everyone needs to be acknowledge and embraced for the beauty and unique qualities.   How many people do you walk by on a daily basis and don’t even make eye contact or smile?   How many people have you not spoken to because their feathers got ruffled and false judgments were made?  Now, you don’t know how and where to start those conversations – it begins with a simple hello!    Sometimes it’s not about you, sometimes it’s the judgements or impressions or thoughts that keep them holding back.

Think about changing the way we walk through our day, what if today we chose to SMILE and make eye contact with everyone, go out of our way to make a difference.  How would you feel?  How would the people you touch feel – it’s the ripple effect.  Throw that pebble into the pond and watch what happens.    When we stop and touch, with permission of course a simple hand on another hand or shoulder, life opens to the possibilities, we don’t have to be so hard, we don’t have to be so defensive and reactive.   It’s about time we change our perspective and soften our edges, life doesn’t have to be this way.    I have found a new way of being, a new way to interact, a new perspective ~ there are infinite possibilities when we get out of our own way and stop being so angry!     Step into your true authentic self and watch the beautiful butterfly emerge.

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Surrender

Today after quiet reflection I am relaxed and peaceful.  Not normally a statement that I hold true, a two hour hike turned into an adventure on the white trail; a random picnic table into comfortable conversation as opposed to coffee shop chatter.    I stepped into the day with my normal checklist of to do items with a hike being 2nd or 3rd on my list. I found stories of engagement as the world slowly faded away.  20170701_141018The cars, traffic, cell phone all distractions and notice of everyday life stresses disappeared.  I am such a time nazi and a control freak I always need to know how long and by when, my days are planned and structured.  Today was different!  Feeling the wind through the rustle of trees, hearing dogs barking off in the distance, fellow hikers engaged in lively conversation as they passed.  The clouds disappeared, turning to clear blue skies.  My soul came alive in nature. I found a peace and calm not my normal.  I have not found this sense of freedom and relaxation as today.   The need for food didn’t cross my mind, water readily available.  Hours passed like minutes, silence was golden and a calm surrender enveloped me as I ventured forward.  Passing a unique tree once struck by lightening lay high across the trail creating a tunnel was where I heard the tussle of water in the distance.  With hesitation and a slight deviation from the designated path in search of the water a new unmarked path was found.  The need for urgency and completion to find the end of the trail disappeared and freedom was found as exploration and embracing the moment took over!

 

20170701_142232.jpgIf I had continued on the white trail …

If I had not stopped for rest and conversation …

If I had are conversations I have had on a daily basis and today I let go and surrendered into the moment … my soul is grateful.  It feels lighter and refreshed.

And today what surprised me, my guard dropped, my inner child came to play, my control freak took the day off.  I became embraced with nature and followed this beautiful creek, explored the rocks and climbed across a fallen tree, sat and was able to BE one with self.   How many days do I forget to embrace the moment.  My tank is full.  Miles were walked, hours turned into a day of surrender.   It’s OK to let go.  I learned a lot about myself and how truly powerful self care is when you embrace every moment.

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My 90 day journey …

This journey started years ago.   My goal with the ninety days was to ignite my passion and find out what makes me tick and to push me to find my true calling.

During this journey every button was pushed, everything of comfort was challenged and life is forever changed.  I never did more things in a twenty-four-hour period, never connected with strangers now known as family. I have never opened up in relationships, to family and friends that I have done on such deep levels.   My wish is that my children actually get to know me and the individual I have uncovered during this journey.   I have opened my heart, opened my home and found what it is to truly be connected.  No apologies, no I am sorry; there is nothing better than love and true acceptance!

I know who I am IMG_5076– I know what I want  – I know what I need – I know what I will no longer accept for me in every aspect of my life.   It’s about true connection, giving from the heart.  Its about leaving judgement behind and complete and utter acceptance of who I am.   Knowing my boundaries and tolerance.

Finding Kathy, the beautiful heart of love to give and share; knowing my passion, talents and strengths are enough.   Knowing I am stronger than I gave myself credit for and to stop playing small.   I have passion when I get out of my head and connect with my heart and when I am truly connected with my heart I am powerful!   I am at peace and it radiates through my smile and it doesn’t have to be pasted on for the world, but it is true and genuine.

IMG_4948I have found sexy!   I am who I am and that sexy doesn’t have to be defined by a man beside me or what they have to say about your body. It is not defined as cleavage and tight fitting clothing and to be a true essence of your true self means finding your soul and owning it!  It is being comfortable in your own skin and not defined by the words of others.   I don’t have to step into the expectations of others to be my true authentic self.

Passionate so envelops who I am.   My world is filled with color, rich and vibrant.   My world is filled with nature, not the calm path but those filled with rocks, trails, water, altitude, sweat and fulfillment.   My passionate side speaks of love, connection, music, love of giving, photography, art and dance!    Come get to know me ~ it’s been a fun journey.

My creativity was dormant for years as other  fascites of my life took center state. IIMG_5514.JPG thought I didn’t need creativity as I look back, there are glimmers of it trying to jump out and speak to me however, those impulses were not strong or ignored.   If my creative side stood its ground, life as I knew it would have been filled with abundance, laughter and love instead of always trying to fit into someone else’s box.   There are no boundaries only those we impose on ourselves.

As this journey has evolved I stepped into leadership with challenges and some areas of ease and comfort.   The experience has enriched and recognizing life is now is ultimately a gift of balance.   When you step into your true power, define yourself magic happens at the end of your comfort zone.

I chose to live life out loud.   I chose to fill my life with color, pictures, life with music, connections, friendships, relationships and LOVE!    I chose to be a sexy passionate creative leader

I welcome you to explore your journey and welcome conversations that open up the possibilities for you, your family and the world!   I am forever grateful.

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Dilemma

Over or under training?   I have watched many people workouts many hours a day to no avail.   Same for myself, teaching two cycle classes or TRX and Pilates.   Like most of the population, I thought more was better.  It got me nowhere – my clothes fit tighter I had to go up in size – what was wrong?   Some trainers tried to tell me I was building muscle.   Physicians stated it was hormones.  Education taught me the calculations of finding max heart rate and target your training between X and Y with cardio, cardio, cardio and if that doesn’t work more cardio … hmmm.   Where do you draw the line with your time in the gym?  One hour? Two hours?IMG_1288.JPG

To keep your metabolism running you need to add weight training, and to stave off osteoporosis, weight bearing exercises are key.   There’s also high intensity workout’s, cycling, interval training, and boot camp workouts to name a few.    I dislocated my hip, popped a rib, had plantar fasciitis, bruised my collar bone and almost tore my rotator cuff.   We’ve been taught no pain no gain, but is it sustainable, NO.  I am strong, I am flexible but what is the right balance of exercise?   A 50ish years young personal trainer who spends 6 days a week working with clients, I wanted to have more energy and less pain.  I vowed to leave with all original part but many individuals feel that you need to beat your body up with high intensity workouts.  There are more knee replacements, hip replacements that ever, so are these workouts the way to go?     Is that what you want – to sacrifice your body parts for that lean long figure?

Still not working – do more!!! So I read more articles did more research refined the workouts again.   Ask any of my clients and they have heard my analogy of the “Fire Pit” – keep the metabolism running!!!   The other another component that I also was juggling – FOOD!   When asked, majority of the people say YES – I am eating healthy!   But what does that look like?    If you are eating healthy why is the waistline growing?   What can’t we fit into our clothes, what is missing?    It’s balance – when we over train the body – we generate inflammation and chronic fatigue, it’s a cycle that is so hard to break.   The IMG_2248.JPGhardest part for me was my years of education and training.   I cut back on all my high intensity workouts.   If we don’t put a balance of food in our bodies, they get bigger.      I found that once I got out of my own way, stopped over training and recognized how critical protein was to my body, I found success.  My pantry no longer has pasta or rice, my frig is filled with an abundance of vegetables and good sources of protein.    Your journey starts with stepping back and recognizing that running all those miles might not be the best way.   When you put the right combination of food into your body and recognize it as fuel – you will be successful!   Time to get out of your own way ~ I did!!!

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Humbled …

My day of reflection began being humbled ~ I am a control freak.   I love to be in charge, I know the best way to do things but sometimes life has a funny way of reminding us that we need to take a step back and ask for help.

My Saturday evening started by volunteering atIMG_1312 the local theater.   Time well spent talking engaging and supporting the community, however, little did I realize that the same place I parked time and time again would fail me.   Leaving on a high and walking to my car that’s when life laughed at me.   My car was parked or so I thought was parked in my same ole same ole spot – wrong!    If you are local to my little town,  they are also control freaks and they love for people to pay for parking everywhere.   Well, when two controllers butt heads, one ends up losing – this time it was me!     My car was towed and I could not get it the morning…. Ugh.    Getting home was my imminent task.   I could Uber or Lyft – but that would require me to download something and set up accounts or call a friend.

IMG_1315 (2)Its takes a lot for me to ask for help, but at this point in time, I needed to step back and ask for help!    I humbled myself or so it felt that way.  I was embarrassed and felt really foolish placing this call, but wow – there was no judgement, no ridicule, nothing just genuine friendship.   Without going into explanation or details, the first statement was OF COURSE I will be right there!   How many times have we held back calling people, engaging because we are afraid of what the others will say?   There are so many individuals / friends / family out there – will able and ready to help but we are scared to put ourselves out there for fear of what???

As a health and wellness coach so many people are afraid to step out of there comfort zone, be humbled – take that step that would totally make a difference and ask for help!    We all need to ask for help on occasion, I could not have gotten a ride home or a ride to the towing company this morning if I didn’t put myself out there and say HELP!    What are you looking to accomplish?  IMG_1299.JPG Getting healthy is a statement that is vague description of what you want but I ask you to dig a little deeper.   What does that look like?   Being specific – I was at the corner of Church and Gay; I needed to tell my friend where I was standing for that ride home.  You need to own it – where are you in your journey?   This will give me a spring board of where we need to start, its education guidance and a partnership on your journey to totally wellness.  Its ok to be humble and ask!!! I did ~ will you?

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Choices

Choices ~ are you defined by the choices or lack of choices you have made?     The weather has changed we are now into our fall clothes, do they fit?   Are you satisfied with the way we jumped and embraced summer – was there excess indulgences, little extra wine or beer?   Are you paying for those choices today?      Are you happy with the way you look / feel / sleep?   Are you in pain – back pain and or stiffness, do you have leg, foot or knee issues – why?  And I will never accept ‘Old Age’ as an excuse you can always make positive changes … These questions are all about the choices we have made.

I chose to make significant changes; they were not easy.  They were not something that happened overnight.   It has taken me over 9 months to lose my 30+ lbs.  It has taken me over 9 months to adjust to a better balanced exercise routine.  It has taken me over 9 months to make these positive changes.  It is a slow and steady process with a huge support network.  This the only way I could get through the tough times and the tough changes.   You need this too!!!!!!!    I am in the gym a lot; I work with a lot of people who when asked what they want “DON’T KNOW”.   Define your choices – what do you want to – look like, feel like, clothes you want to wear, set goals ~ I did and so can you.

Many speak of feeling better ~ how do you define feeling better?   Is it that you can stand, walk and move without pain?   Is it that you sleep seven or so hours a night?   Is it that you feel full after your meals or don’t feel full (bloated)?   Is it that you can button your jeans and not have to adjust a size or 2 up?     Feeling better / feeling healthy is about positive choices.  Where do we start?   I sought out many different professions.   As a personal trainer in the gym, I started with the physician – and a physical.  My cholesterol was elevated – so I knew food changes had to occur.    I tried to manage this myself – changed protein shakes to the point that the store manager knew me by name – what worked for my belly?    I then sought out nutritionist(s)- we added a little of this took a little of this away, worked with spacing of food and portions – all in my mind a PIA!   I didn’t have all this extra time to be creative in the kitchen, that’s when frustration took over.  Then I added a health coach which educated me beyond what I knew for being in the gym – what a difference this has made!   As I tell my clients we individuals are like chemistry experiments – we don’t know the right mix of food, exercise sleep until we trip over it or find the right individual to put all the pieces together.

As with everything it takes time to find what works and when you get your body into a true fat burning state, it becomes efficient and weight loss, inflammation and exercise work together.    We, as moms are busy with the family, planning organizing the household, but we have made choices that do not support us and our bodies.   When we take the time to step back, evaluate what is best for us as individuals, we recognize the changes we need to make and stop short changing our bodies.     Are you ready to step back, re-evaluate your choices and make positive changes for your future?    I am a sexy, passionate creative woman and I am healthy and feel amazing ~ are you ready to make these changes?